Where is the love?

Saturday while I was loading the washing machine a song that we used to sing when I was younger randomly popped in my head. If I can remember it correctly it went a little something like this;

“Love is something if you give it away
Give it away Give it away
Love is something if you give it away you’ll end up having more
It’s just like a lucky penny; Hold it tight and you won't have any
But if you give it away you'll have plenty
You'll end up having more”

I kept singing and singing and singing, not really paying attention to the words that were coming out of my mouth. Around the third time or so of me singing this song I thought to myself, “THIS SONG IS CRAP!” At that very moment I didn’t believe one line of that song! To think of it, I don’t even feel like that this morning.
After I thought about the lyrics to this song all day Saturday, I started to ask myself, where is the Love? More than ever I have been feeling like I have been giving and giving and giving love but I am still waiting on my “You'll end up having more”. Where the heck is it? Am I even supposed to be looking for it? What will it look like when it comes? Who or where is it supposed to come from? How come I don’t feel it?

?????

when is it gonna be my turn....let me vent!!
When is it going to be my turn?
When is it going to be my turn to be happy?
And how come I don't feel like I am?
Wait! What is happiness anyway?
So..... Back to what I was saying...
When is it going to be my turn to be happy, to be satisfied, content?
When is it gonna be my turn to be adored and cared for?
When is it going to be my turn to stop longing for romance, love, companionship?
When will it be my turn to laugh, and be giddy?
When is it gonna be my time to be taken seriously and not walked over like a doormat?
When it going to be my turn to stop getting hurt and never holla'd at?
When is it going to be my turn to stop crying late at night? When is it going to be where people will see me and not ask, is everything alright?
When is it gonna be my turn to held, cuddled with and carressed? When will someone notice that I'm witty and have some finesse?
When will be the time when I recognize that this aint about me? When will be the time that I realize God's got me where he wants me to be?
When will it be my turn to find Mr. Right? When will I wake up and see that the darkness I feel is really God's Precious light?
When will I have more trust in God and more dependency? When is it gonna be my turn to feel like God is filling that void in me?
When is gonna be turn....I could go on and on
But one thing I have realized is that I'm not in this alone.
When? To some of these questions, it's now, and it's to obvious to me that the rest will be in God's timing.(Decemeber 17, 2006)

As I skimmed through pieces I have written over the years, I came acrossesd this random poem I wrote on my T-Mobile Sidekick in like 5 minutes. I sit in amazement but not in a good way. I am kinna disappointed,mostly because it's been 2 years ago since I wrote this but this is how I feel TODAY! Am I in the same place that I was in when I first wrote this, in some areas it's looking like I am! Frustrtation overcomes me because it seems like my prayers have not been answered. Disappointment sets in and makes me feel like I have not done all the growing that I should have done in the past 2 years. As my 26th birthday approaches, I am beginning to reflect on the things that I know I could be doing differently. I am even reflecting on the stagnant points on my timeline of "life". Reality is a hard pill to swallow. But the time is NOW to move forward, forgetting what is behind me! That's just it tho'!!!! How do I press through where I am now and forget what's behind me, if where I am now is soooo old? (Did that make sense?)

How do I get out of where I am on September 24,2008 if it's the same place I was on December17, 2006? What am I doing wrong????

A & R Pet Peeves!!!!

oooooooooooo WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! So those who know me know where I work. (THANK GOD for a Job!!) BUT, there are some things that absolutely get on my (as my mom would say) last nerve! I know , I know, I need to digress and I will as soon as I list these peeves....

1. There are signs posted all over the place that say "Please have photo ID ready", so how come when the student approaches the counter they don't have their ID ready? AND, 9 times outta 10 if it's a female she has to dig all the way down to bottom of their purse only to find out "Oh it's in my car" ERRRRR!!!!!

2. It's standard to answer the phone "Admissions and Records"... so why after the caller hears the greeting they say, "umm is this Admissions and Records?" Would I be wrong if I answered, "No, I am sorry, this is the Financial Aid Department?

3. Students assume that our department knows absoulutely EVERYTHING about our campus and I can understand that, but we do not know everything about the Northridge Community. Please do not call and ask for the phone number to the LA Public Library, the phone number to the Subway on Reseda, nor the addresses to all the surrounding Community Colelges! WE ARE NOT THE YELLOW PAGES! CALL 411!!!!

4. If you say you stayed on hold so long, how come you don't have your question prepared when the call is answered? LOL!!! "um ...I... well... I... uh"

5. When students don't get their way, they automatically "HATE THIS SCHOOL"...Well Transfer and turn in that CSUN Sweatshirt that you are wearing!

6. Helicopter Parents- Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not

YOUR SON IS 30...BACK OFF!!!!



ok! I think I am done now.... stay tuned for more... It's only NOON, Monday and all of these things have happened already, so I am sure there will be more.

R., You Serious???

Ok, Let me just preface this blog by saying that I am NOT an R. Kelly basher. I love him as an entertainer and for his musical abilities BUT I think he's gone just a little off the wall.
After watching Jimmy Kimmel Live and seeing bits and pieces of the interview with Toure, I decided to check out the whole thing, or what was posted on www.youtube.com. Disappointed to say the LEAST! SMH(shaking my head)! This man was talking in circles. He sounded so confused and Toure's facial expressions were so hilarious. I probably would have made the same expressions if not worse LOL!
While watching this video this morning before work started, a co-worker walked past my desk, saw who was on the screen and backed up. A very interesting conversation came about, “when it comes to older men dating teenage girls, who’s to say what’s wrong and what is right,”? OHHHH BOY!!!!
I don’t know who determines if it is right or wrong but I think that it is outright NASTY for a let’s say 40 year old man to even think about a 14 year old girl in a sexual manner! YUCK!!!!! I mean what can a 40 year old man see in a young girl who is not of age?

The Co-worker’s arguments
1. Society has place a negative connotation on a man dating an underage girl but glorifies older women dating younger men.
2. Just because the female is 14 does not mean that she is not mature enough to date an older man
3. Age difference has nothing to do with how 2 people connect

My Responses
1. Cougar Dating(older women dating younger men), which is a new trend, is NOT illegal
2. 14 year old boy or girl is just that, a child. Children have no clue!
3. You tell me what a 40 year old and a 14 year old would have to talk about?

So who is to say it’s right or wrong? Does it matter how you grew up? Would it be different if the motive of the man was not solely based on taking advantage of a little girl?

Whatcha thinkin’????

Oh Jacob!!! (Originally written on February 20, 2008)

So let me just say that it was a struggle just to even write this but it keeps tugging at my heart and God is saying press through this crap because someone may need this word, so I have to be obedient.


After a Tuesday Night Bible Study at Hope Fellowship, I went back to read Genesis 32 all over again. It was about Jacob and how he wrestled with God.
Jacob got word that his brother Esau was on his way to meet with him but he had 400 men with him. So he began to pray and cry out to God. The angles of God began to appear and encourage him and assured that we would be protected. Jacob knew that this fight was one that he had to approach alone, so he sent away his wives (yes he had two of them), his two servants, his 11 sons and all of his possessions). Once he became all alone he continued to pray to God in fear. As he prayed, some random man came about and he began to wrestle with Jacob. They went back and forth with each other for some time and the man deliberately knocked Jacob's hip out of joint! WHAT!!!! After that, this man asked Jacob to let him go! Jacob was like "naw homie, I am not letting you go until you bless me!!" Then the man asked Jacob what was his name. "Jacob", he answered. So then this random guy says, "Alright, your name is no longer Jacob, now your name is Israel, (which means God wrestler)" He also said, "you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

So this whole time Jacob was wrestling with God and didn't even know it.
As I read over this over and over again, God showed me so much.
The fact the Jacob knew he had to send everyone and all his possessions away to prepare spoke volumes to me. Sometimes we junk ourselves up with so many other things like commitments, people, relationships which cause us to loose sight of what God is trying to do in our lives. In some situations you may not get an answer from God until He gets us alone. That maybe His very desire for us, to be alone, so that He can do a work in us and through us without any distractions.

Jacob wrestled without giving up! Even when the man asked him to let go, Jacob refused until he was blessed. I think that's how we should be. As a product of the microwave generation, where want everything to happen instantly for us, we often give up before we have allowed God to actually move. We get tired of wrestling and waiting so we just let go, but Jacob did not! In the mist of him wrestling Jacob got hurt, which lets me know that while we are waiting and wrestling with whatever it is we may get hurt, we may have give up things and we may get wounded, but in the end, just like Jacob we will be blessed. God may not literally change our name but our character will change on the inside of is, which will make us look different on the outside.


Throughout the latter part of this I use "we" because I am speaking about me too. At this very moment I am wrestling with a few things, but with God, more than I have ever before. I have had to give a whole lot of things up like relationships and habits as well. God wanted me alone and although I got my "hip knocked out of joint" I had to be obedient. I want him to change my name, change my character and my M-O (mode of operation) and at this point I can honestly say that as the days go by, even though some days feel like crap, He is changing my name. Even as I type He's doing a work in me.


So I typed all this to encourage whomever may be reading this to keep wrestling and don't let go until you have received your blessing. It's coming, just give Him your all and time to move and I promise you He will begin to "change your name", your character, your perspective, all that.
Um ok, I think I am done.
LOL! Amen

How the Grinch Tried to Steal my "Christ"mas Spirit (written on March 14, 2008)

It’s funny how a Dr. Seuss Book can speak volumes if you just really think about it.

So everyone knows how the story line goes right? If not, let me debrief you before I continue.
The Grinch, a bitter, cave-dwelling creature with a heart "two sizes too small," lives on snowy Mount Crumpit, a steep, 3,000 foot high mountain just north of Whoville, home of the merry and warm-hearted Whos. His only companion is Max, his faithful dog. From his perch high atop Mount Crumpit, the Grinch can hear the noisy Christmas festivities that take place in Whoville. Envious of the Whos’ happiness, he makes plans to descend on the town and, by means of burglary, deprive them of their Christmas presents and decorations and thus "prevent Christmas from coming".he gets the idea to stop Christmas from coming by dressing up as Santa Claus. He puts together an outfit and makes his dog drag him around on a sleigh while sneaking into the Whos’ homes and stealing their presents, food, and decorations. After he has stolen every last thing, the Whos wake up on Christmas morning to sing in the town square, causing the Grinch to question the basis of his nefarious plan. He learns in the end that despite his success in stealing all the Christmas presents and decorations from the Whos, Christmas comes just the same. He then realizes that Christmas is more than just gifts and presents. His heart grows three sizes larger, he returns all the presents and trimmings, and is warmly welcomed into the community of the Whos.

So… as I was saying! It’s funny how a Dr. Seuss Book has just jumped off the pages and has resonated on the inside of me.

Here is what I got out of it!!! This is crazy!!!

{John 10:10 tells us that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy right?} Well so did the Grinch. He was had no heart and was so lonely that he tried his best to come up with any kind of scheme that would make the Who’s unhappy and distraught. Sound familiar? Sounds like Satan to me!
Christmas is a time where people, Christians and non-Christians alike, rejoice, celebrate, praise and just have fun. Everyone (for the most part) loves Christmas time. It’s just that kind of holiday! Us as Christians should be like that all the time, full of peace, joy, love and just enjoying and reflecting on God’s love (but that is another blog). So what better time for the "Grinch" to attempt to steal this "holiday" from the "Whos"? It’s a perfect opportunity right?

What does the Grinch do when "Christmas" time comes around? He dresses up as if he were Santa. There is that familiarity again! Just like the "Grinch", Satan dresses up his motives as one thing but in reality he has a plan (to kill, steal, and destroy).
As the story goes on the Grinch burglarizes Whoville and he even tried to burn Whoville down. He was pretty desperate and determined! After he did all this he went back home, Mount Crumpit and waited for the disappointment of the Whos to take place. When he paused to hear crying, there was still rejoicing in the air! What?! You mean to tell me that in the midst of being robbed, taunted and having their town burnt down the Whos still rejoiced! Wow.
So let me ask you this? When the devil tries to steal from you or tries to destroy you or kill you, what do you do? Do you confuse him by rejoicing through your circumstances? You see, the Who’s were not celebrating because of tangible things and we should be the same, not focus on presents (what God can do for you) but you should be focusesd on His presence (which is power)!!!! (oMG I could shout).

The Devil tries to steal your joy, continue to praise and worship God. When he tries to kill of your dreams and visions, press through, and when he tries to destroy your spirit, speak the Word of the Lord over that! Let nothing separate you from God!

(So this is where I get a little transparent) I am definitely speaking to myself here as well.
Recently this fool "the Grinch" has been trying to wipe me out! He’s tired to kill me off in my confidence {worship/career), he’s been trying to steal my joy (in every relationship/friendship I have), he’s been trying to destroy the very relationship I have with God BUT there is still a worship in my heart. He TRIED to steal my Christmas spirit, BUT I am pressin’ on, STUPID DEVIL!

We quote scriptures all the time but if you SPEAK them audibly you are taping into the spiritual realm. So oppen your mouths and declare, "NO weapon formed against me shall prosper".

The Devil is sitting up on his Mount Crumpit just waiting to steal your posessions, to kill your purpose and to destroy your position but the Word declares that we will have life and have it MORE abundantly!
Be a "Who" and live in that abundance.

And I am done! Amen!!!

Check ya bags!!!!! (written on August 25, 2008)

"Excuse me sir, you are going to have to check that bag". "Ma'am, this bag will not fit in the overhead compartment, if it does not fit in under the seat in the front of you, you will have to check it. I am sorry".

Going back and forth from LA to DC and all the airports in between, I've heard this on several occasions. I can recall the look of disappointment on the passengers faces when the flight attendant told them that their baggage could not fit on the air plane and had to be checked. Carry-on baggage is limited due to the stowage capacity on the plane. Well why does it matter? Too much weight on an air plane or even a care can cause the travel to be sluggish and can possibly become the cause of longer travel duration.
Early today I had what I call "readers block". I wanted to get in to the word of the Lord but I just didn't know where to start. I perused through Proverbs and I knew that's not where I was supposed to be at that moment. I skimmed through Psalms and knew that that was not where I was supposed to be at that moment. I opened up Luke 18 and I began to read. I approached the account of the Rich Ruler. One I was very familiar with; I had heard it in several sermons and messages.

The rich ruler was in the presence of Jesus Christ, went to him and asked what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus then reminded him of the commandments "'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother". The Rich ruler confirmed that he had kept those commandments, "Oh yeah I got this". Jesus said "Oh wait, you are lacking one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I could just imagine the look on the rich ruler's face. He probably was thinking, "WHAT! Sell all that I have???? I have worked too hard to just give this stuff away, it's precious and valuable." The Bible says he became very sad. This man was rich, BALLIN'. In response to the ruler's sadness Jesus posed a question, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who have it all to enter God's kingdom... it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle"
Let me be honest, when I first read this I was really just skimming so I kept reading. But when I looked back over it, I promise it was like the words popped right off my Bible and spoke… YOU CAN NOT TAKE IT ALL TO HEAVEN… huh?? What do you mean Lord? In this instance Jesus was speaking of material things, houses, property, jewels; tangible things. But I would stretch and go a little deeper and say that He may have even meant your "baggage".
Yes we all have baggage; rather it may be hang ups, let downs, broken hearts, insecurities, disappointments, BAD HABITS, Old ways. We all have them. What I have been learning though, is that we can not enter the ...kingdom of God with all this baggage. It is not possible for the two to coexist. Jesus instructed the rich ruler to sell all his possessions to get rid of all the baggage that might weigh him down upon entering the kingdom of God. I encourage you to do the same thing. Dig deeper than the tangible things though. Colossians 3:5-8 tells us to "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." This may be things you are carrying around consciously or subconsciously. Check those bags. You can't get to the kingdom with those.

Ok so you don't gossip, or use filthy language, or don't partake in sexual immorality, but you have yet to heal from that broken heart that so-n-so played a part in years ago, or you are too caught up in what others think about you because of some insecurity that you have had ever since your father told you that you were never going to be anything in life….BAGGAGE, check it! Do whatever it is you have to do to heal from that heartbreak, get over it and move forward. If not it's going to weigh you down. You can't there as fast as you are supposed to be because the weight is making you sluggish!

Oh I am speaking to myself too, TRUST. I found myself focusing on the why's and the why nots, the how comes and the what ifs. I got caught up in the heart breaks and the unforgiveness and it was weighing me down. Eventually I looked up and saw that I still had not made it to my destination. Why not? Too much weight. I didn't check my bags. Even today I had to check some bags. It's hard because some of it I want to hold on too (transparency), but I have to remember my final destination. I don't want my flight to be delayed and I for sure do not want and extended lay over, so I gotta check my bags.
Matthew 7:13-14 says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." So how can we enter through a narrow gate carrying all the baggage in the world! It's not going to fit! Check those bags y'all. I am checking mine.

Luke 18:18-29
Phil 3:7
Colossians 3:5-12

I'm up in this place!!!!

Aiight folks....

I have decided to hop on the bandwagon of blogging. Actually I have been blogging on Myspace for a loooonnnnggg time now. Now is the time to expand my audience, if you will. So, I am here! The first few blogs will be some of my favorite pieces I have written in the past. If you have already read those, stay tuned for some new stuff soon. If you have not, take some time to get a feel of the Minah Experience. I cannot promise how often I will update this blog, but I can say that lately I have been on a writing spree, that will hopefully last a while (LOL).


Just to let you know...


This blog won't always be so deep and spiritual. I often like to make others laugh so a blog or two may be just plain comedy. Some blogs may just be about "what happened today" and others may be about how I am feeling that day. Feel absolutely free to comment on either of these types of blogs. Enjoy!